February is a month associated with love and relationship. In these uncomfortable and restricted times, we may wonder, “How can we love people well when distance and coverings and non-contact are recommended?”

Last week I shared some thoughts on how we can love others with our hands. There were many practical ideas that came to mind – you can see the ones I listed here.

This week, we shift our attention to the use of time in loving other people. This one feels more abstract, because time can feel slippery or heavy or overwhelming, especially when our hours are being dictated for us in so many difficult ways right now.

As the world went into lockdown, most of us felt time warp in some form or another. For some, it stretched: long days at home felt (and may still feel) monotonous without breaks in the day or changes in scenery, whether with working from home or insecure employment or health struggles. For others, time tightened: schedules became packed with phone calls or extra shifts in various work fields as we attempted to cover for those who were sick or unavailable as they cared for others. Managing families through all this has proven challenging for the stoutest of heart.

In general, restrictions have given us a bigger view of our time while offering fewer ways to spend it outside our homes. Whether you work from home or commute, there aren’t many options for things to do away from home.

I think time is something with which we can choose to be victim or manager. Whatever job you have, whatever your family’s needs, whatever your priorities, we all get the same amount of hours in a day. We don’t all have money, but we all receive the same amount of time. Of course, we don’t all have the same flexibility with our time, but that makes it even more precious when we spend it. I’m no expert and I don’t have all my time managed well, but it is amazing how much can change when I pay attention to where I spend it.

There is a bit of an overlap with the use of time and other venues for love: anything we choose to do, make, or try calls for time. That makes time a precious commodity. When it comes to how we love others, how can our time communicate that we love them?

Here are a few ideas:

• Schedule a phone call with a family member or friend – add video if you want to see them
• Take a physically distant walk in an open area. Local parks or neighborhoods provide places to park; adjust your distance or time as you need. You can see the beautiful world outside, get some exercise, and talk with a friend. (I will also note that taking walks on your own is a good way to love yourself. The physical, mental, and emotional health benefits are marvelous!)
• If friends need help with manual labor, like moving furniture or painting, offer to help. This limits your touch to things rather than direct people, keeps you active, and gets you to closer proximity for conversation.
• Take time to unwind. This one might seem odd, but you can’t use your time well with or for others if your own self isn’t rested. Take time in the morning or evening to rest, schedule a healthy amount of sleep, and save a block or two of time to do something you enjoy each week.
• Don’t know where your time is going? Try logging it for a week. Be honest; don’t cut corners. This can help us understand what we’re doing and how long it takes us to do it – and, maybe, what things we can afford to cut out or cut back.

A word of warning before we go: the use of time is a topic upon which we can easily judge. After all, I have the ways I use my time that work for me, and, well, they work for me. Why wouldn’t anyone else use their time this way? I’d recommend this rhythm/schedule/set of priorities to everyone!

If there has been anything the pandemic has pointed out, it’s the wide range of resources, opportunities, and burdens people have to carry and consider. There are people without jobs with time on their hands when they wished they could work. Some people are caring for a sick relative (whether COVID, or “normal” people-get-sick reasons) in their home and now do double duty; others would prefer to take that duty instead of endure separation from their loved ones who suffer from the same ailments. As we weigh our opportunities for the use of our time, let’s understand that the weight falls heavy on everyone and we all make daily decisions that cost more than they might in different times, with different circumstances. Grace is a gift we appreciate as we juggle the demands of life. Let’s be quick to offer it to others (and ourselves!) as we manage our own demands.

Consider how your time expresses love and priority toward the people in your life this week. How does your use of time indicate you love your neighbor?

In the meantime, happy Valentine’s Day 😊