A pandemic is quite a backdrop for major life events, and it is mindboggling to hear the things people have had to put their heads down and do in spite of the upheaval. Births, deaths, weddings, job changes or losses, medical procedures, moves – these are events of great impact in our lives, and they haven’t stopped because we’ve stayed home. On the contrary, some have been expedited by these circumstances.

In my case, my husband and I scheduled our wedding for May 2020.

In March, the logistics went from quiet to chaotic and back again as we ironed out details without the physical presence of family and friends. We watched the torrent of announcements, orders, and regulations, and started conversations with vendors. Emails flew to and from inboxes; teleconferences and appointments danced across our computer screens. We learned about our communication habits real quick (or, our need to improve communication habits!), and about what others wanted from us. We couldn’t meet all of you as you wanted to be met, but we did our best to love you. At the same time, we stood on the foundation of our priorities and the things that mattered most to us.

You may’ve heard the story of the professor who tried to fit a number of things in a jar. The first time, he filled the jar with big rocks, asking his class if they thought the jar was full. They said it was. Then he poured in gravel, and he asked the class again. They said it was full. Then the professor pulled out a container of sand, and finally, water, and poured them into the jar, and they filled the cracks that were left. If he wanted to pour water into the jar first, he noted, then sand and gravel, then there wouldn’t be room for the big rocks. He stated that the different items represented different types of priorities: the biggest rocks were the most important things; the gravel were the next important; and the sand was the least. So long as the biggest priorities received their space first, everything else fell into place.

In the course of time, my husband and I felt our priorities shift their weight, sinking to the bottom of our jar. We removed items like our expectations of having all our immediate family there, as we learned that his brother’s family couldn’t cross the globe with travel restrictions and my sister might be called away for emergency medical support in New York City. We put aside most aesthetics, as we settled into the idea of getting married in our home and finding local options for pictures and flowers, instead of our original destination plans. We carefully interacted with the businesses who might make our little priorities happen; many vendors had suffered plenty at the hands of economic shutdown and impatient customers. We were forced to simplify, and that meant we had to take some ideas and hopes off the table.

We felt some losses, especially those related to our people, more keenly than others during this huge event in our life. By the grace of God, we recognized if everything else went awry, but we successfully married by the end of the day, then we made it. That was worth celebrating.

Thankfully, you all agreed. While it didn’t look anything like we thought, we celebrated, and you joined us. We shared our ceremony by live stream (shout out to Christopher, Joe’s best man, for a fantastic job as emcee!), and though you and your family had your own share of chaos, you managed to carve time out of your day and life to sit down with us. You sent cards and gifts and well-wishes via social media. You allowed the typical pre-wedding events to be pushed back, and you replied with enthusiasm as we determined new dates. You continue to ask how we’re doing, lending your mental space to us when you could easily fill it with your own needs.

If you’ve cheered, prayed, sent encouraging messages, or joined us in whatever way you could, then you’re on our team, and we love you. Perhaps in this season of low opportunity for personal visits, you hadn’t even met everyone involved in this affair and didn’t know as much as we wanted you to know. All the same, you hung in there with us, and we can’t express how much we appreciate you.

Thank you, because in all of these things and in all of these ways, you’ve loved us.

And this picture, of love adapting to new conditions and making room and letting some things go to hold people more tightly, even if it doesn’t present how you wanted, is the kind of love God wants us to live.

So, further, thanks for being Jesus to us.

We love you. We thank God for you. We look forward to every opportunity we’ll have to see you next. God bless you!

In the meantime, we’ll enjoy being married. 😊

With Love,

Bekah & Joe

P.S. – We know that the decisions we made were ours, and that many others have opted or did not have the privilege to make different decisions. If you don’t know us, but you know others who have wrestled or are wrestling in the same predicament, then go encourage and cheer for them. I’m sure they’ll take every bit they can get!

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All images used in this post were shot by Emaleedee. She did a fantastic job capturing our wedding day and we cannot recommend her enough!